


Saltwater

by escritoireazul



Category: Twilight (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bechdel Test Comment Ficathon, Gen, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-13
Updated: 2010-10-13
Packaged: 2017-10-12 15:32:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/126412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/escritoireazul/pseuds/escritoireazul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes friendship means forgiveness. Sometimes friendship means calling you on your bullshit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saltwater

**Author's Note:**

> Note: This is a transformative work of fiction inspired by the movie adaptation of New Moon.  
> Setting: AU during New Moon  
> Written for: The Bechdel Test Comment Fic-a-Thon to the prompt "What if Jacob wasn't the one to pull Bella out of her lovelorn zombie funk in New Moon?"

“So I’ve decided to forgive you.” Jessica plops down into the seat next to Bella. It’s not her usual table; her usual table is closer to the center of the room and it’s filled with their friends and it’s loud. Here in the corner, cafeteria noises are somehow muted, the bright overhead lights dim.

Except for the Cullens’ table by the windows. Light gathers there like the memory of sparkling skin. Bella’s seat faces it, and when she looks away, spots of light dance across Jessica’s face.

She blinks, trying to clear her vision.

“Forgive me?” Bella’s voice cracks from disuse. Her throat aches. Her sinuses are full. She doesn’t sound like herself anymore. She doesn’t actually remember how she’s supposed to sound.

“For being an idiot,” Jessica clarifies.

Bella blinks at her, but she doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest. Instead she cracks open her can of soda and takes a quick drink, then dips a French fry into ketchup, swirling it around.

“At first I was really mad,” she says, her tone light-hearted despite the serious conversation. “Not only have you been a horrible friend, but the one time you actually act like you care about anyone but yourself, you then ditch me and put yourself in serious danger.”

Bella doesn’t have anything to say to that. It’s all true, but Jessica doesn’t understand. There’s so much more going on than she knows. So much more than what it looks like. Losing Edward isn’t like breaking up with a human boyfriend. It hurts like he’s ripped out her heart, because without him, she has no heart. Without him, she has nothing but this pressing fear that she dreamed him up and nothing is real.

“You remember the Cullens, don’t you?” She blurts it out without thinking. Jessica cuts off whatever she’s saying in mid-sentence, frowns, and takes a big bite of her hamburger. Bella never knew someone could _chew_ angrily, but Jessica does.

Finally she swallows. “Yes. I remember them.” Her voice is clipped, but relief slips through Bella, easing something tight inside her.

“Just because I forgive you doesn’t mean I’m going to let you keep doing this.” Jessica crumples her napkin. She’s not done eating, she’s barely touched her food, but she gathers everything so it’s all perfectly balanced on her tray.

“What?” Bella asks. She doesn’t really care, but Jessica remembers the Cullens. That means Bella’s not quite alone in this, even if there is no possible way anyone else has ever felt as bad as she does in this moment.

“Ignore everything I say. I’m your friend, Bella, so I mean this as a friend, but you are being an asshole.”

Bella just looks at her.

“Friends listen when you talk. Even if you don’t really care at all about what I’m saying, you could at least try to fake it.” Jessica stands, taking her lunch with her. “I’d tell you to think about that, but I know you won’t.” She hesitates and sighs. “Still. I forgive you. We’re friends, Bella. I’m going to make you realize that.”

#

The next day, Jessica sits next to her again at lunch. Bella has no food, only an unopened bottle of water. Jessica has a soda, fries, a banana, and fish sticks with a lot of tartar sauce.

She swirls one of the fish sticks in the tartar sauce, just like she did the French fry in ketchup yesterday. Bella is startled she remembers that detail, and so she watches a little too close.

Jessica catches her looking, and misinterprets her interest. “I know, I know, fish sticks, basically gross, right? But I like them. They’re mushy. I like mushy things.” She giggles, and for once it doesn’t sound painfully high-pitched and far too human against Alice’s ethereal laughter, it simply sounds -- fun. “Mushy food, that is. The important stuff, I like that hard.”

It takes Bella a second to understand what she means, and Bella blushes when she gets it, heat racing up her face. Jessica looks a little flushed, too, but she jostles Bella’s arm with her elbow. “Aww, did I embarrass you?”

Bella ducks her head, but the corner of her mouth turns up into a bit of a smile.

#

This goes on for the rest of the week. At first, those brief lunches are the only times Bella doesn’t think about the Cullens, but then she makes it through an entire calculus class without being distracted. Thursday night she even falls asleep without seeing Edward’s beautiful, cold face when she closes her eyes. And when she wakes up from a dream of him, which she always does, it fades so fast she can barely remember.

She tries, frantic, clinging in the only way she can, because letting the dream slip away feels like forgetting him. For the first time, she actually thinks, perhaps that is for the best. She denies the thought as soon as she realizes what she’s done, but the idea lurks in the back of her mind.

Bella lies very still in bed, but the world doesn’t end around her.

#

In her last class Friday, Bella starts to worry. There will be no lunches with Jessica over the weekend, and she’s not sure what she will do with all that free time. But when the final bell rings, she finds Jessica waiting at her locker, sticking neon pink stickers to it.

“You’re spending the night,” Jessica says as soon as she sees Bella. “Angela’s coming over too. We’ve got tons of junk food and pizza. Some without meat for the veggie eaters.”

Bella spins the lock and opens her locker, carefully grabs the books she needs. She’s dawdling because she doesn’t know what to say. She doesn’t actually want to go, but she’s not sure why anymore. She’s not sure about a lot of things.

“Pack a swimsuit when you go home. We’re going to La Push.”

Bella knows exactly what to say to that. “Why? The water must be freezing!”

“Of course! But you need an outlet and I’m going to teach you to surf. You can borrow a wetsuit. One of my old ones should fit you. It’ll be fun.” She beams and bounces a little, friendly and bright.

Bella bumps a hip against her locker door, shutting it. “I’m a klutz,” she says. It’s not exactly a no.

Jessica waves that away. “I know. We’ll start simple, don’t worry. I promise, it’s a ton of fun _and_ it’s hard to think about anything else when you’re concentrating so hard on the ocean.”

She thumbs the edge of one of the stickers while she thinks. Finally she nods.

“Are these easy to remove?” she asks, but what she actually means is _thank you._

#

Angela sits demurely at the foot of Jessica’s bed, her sleeping bag drawn up across her legs. Jessica sprawls across the bed in pink plaid pajama pants and a red tank top. Her toes, painted bright orange, clash horribly. Bella sits on the edge of the bed, one leg tucked under her, the other dangling down to the floor. Technically they’re watching a Simpsons marathon, but no one is really paying attention to the television.

They’re talking about their favorite books. Bella’s reading habits have branched out lately, less _Romeo & Juliet_ or _Wuthering Heights_ and more _1984_ and _Animal Farm_. At first she craved melancholy stories, but now she wants angry ones with very little of love to them.

Angela has a now not-so-secret love of mysteries and political thrillers. She draws her knees up to her chest when she talks about them, and her eyes sparkle. Jessica isn’t a big fan of reading, but she does have some books in her room, mostly chick lit and contemporary romance. At first Bella wants to roll her eyes, but then she catches sight of them in Jessica’s full length mirror, Angela and Jessica giggling together and turning to share their smiles with her, while she has this look on her face that makes her stomach twist when she sees it.

Jessica was one of the first people to talk to her when she first arrived in Forks, and even after she pushed all the others away, Jessica came back. Bella feels something weird -- guilt. She feels guilty and forces herself to smile and listen as they talk about the characters they had crushes on when they were kids.

“Peter Pan,” Bella says when there’s a brief break in the conversation. “I think it was because I always wanted to see Neverland.”

Angela laughs and grins and talks about the dancing lost boys, but Jessica’s smile is tempered by something else. She puts her hand on Bella’s arm briefly, as she reaches for more candy, and the conversation moves on.

#

Jessica zips Bella into the wetsuit. Only her face is bare, but the spray coming off the waves against the rocks is cold enough she tenses even before they hit the water.

“Come on!” Jessica grabs a couple small boards out of Eric’s van and thrusts one at Bella.

Bella takes it gingerly, turning it a little. “This looks too small,” she says, but really she has no idea.

“It is!” Jessica grins and clarifies. “For surfing. We’re boogie boarding. I thought that would be easier for you. Less chance of falling over.” She nudges Bella and laughs; surprisingly, Bella finds herself laughing too.

Easier or not, she gets beat up a lot in the water, but Jessica is always right there to help her and tease her. At the end of the day, they all crowd together for warmth, and Bella’s hair sticks to her face, heavy with saltwater, but her heart is light and she feels so free.


End file.
